He was so flirty and sweet
Told me a nicer guy I wouldn't meet
Invited me over, nothing would happen he said
So I followed where he led

I know, I know. Foolish and naive
But back then, I was innocent and did believe
That people spoke at least mostly true
And my feeble barriers, he charmed his way through

We were watching a movie and his hand drifted low
I didn't want to do it, so I said no
When he didnt move, I pushed his hand away
But, with a cheeky smile, it crept back anyway

Despite being disarming I continued to refuse
Again and again yet he ignored my very obvious cues.
It was playful, but persistent. I was confused
Maybe I did want it after all, I mused

And so, battered and worn down I gave in
I said yes and although my mind did spin
I thought it was my choice all along
I convinced myself he hadn't done wrong

And so as time passed, I became his girl
The good and the bad, it went in a whirl
But sometimes he'd bring it up with me
He wanted me know that I was cheap, always would be
Because I gave in to him, let him have his way
When I had only known him for a day

I'm so torn, don't know my own mind
It's confusing, like I'm walking blind
Could be wrong or it could be right
Just want a path, find and follow the light.

Life has me so unsure and confused
I'm sick of being naive and reused
Trust comes easily and then flees
What if I'm just someone to be used he sees?

I'm scared, oh so fucking scared
Haven't had time to figure it out; prepare
Scenarios and questions tumbling around
Yet fear of looking stupid clamps down the sound

He wants someone who communicates well
I'm not good at that, wish I was - it would be swell
Been told a lack of that broke my last relationship
Tho it was way more than that that made it rip

It comes to my fear though, I'm scared to trust
I've been burnt and my trust has gone to rust
Flame hurts and I've felt the lick on my soul
I know I can dodge the punches, dodge and roll

But I don't want to take the hard road
I'd rather take it easy on the size of my load
Being broken again might make me grow
But I've rather not and instead take my growth slow

What should I do? Decisions allude me
This is hard. All I want is to be free.
On level with marriage, this is I think
Commitment and trust can be gone in a blink

So fragile, it's like a glass flower
Pieces shattered and falling like a shower
Stand on it and feel yourself bleed
Is this what I really need?

What if this is the path life is leading to?
What if it's where I need to go through?
Life is uncharted waters, can't just be scared to drown
Can't go anywhere with the anchor down

Or what if I'm jumping the gun?
What if this is a mistake and I need to run?
I'll won't know which to take, until I take one
And after I've walked through I'll know what I've done.

I'm stuck, feeling like I've got nothing to offer
Got no job and not much in my coffer
Yet a baby on the table is part of the bargain
I gotta think, do I want to go through this again

I'm enough on my own, got minimal stress
Without having someone's else's issues to address
There's their fears, all of it onto me to project
I'll take care of you, but I've got us to protect

I always used to put everyone else first
Stretched myself out, put up with the worst
Fuck that, I'm dreaming of the sunrise
Life with happiness in all our eyes

I know I can make it, I got what it takes
But I've been burnt, need to put on the brakes
There's this fear, it's written on the walls
All of my triumphs, tumbles and falls

I've got more than myself to think of now
My baby is my motivation, it's why I know how
How I'm going to make it through it all
Whatever it takes, I'll break each and every wall