Why bother

 Why do I bother opening up to people?
It turns out, liars are those that stand under the steeple
It doesnt matter how much I try, I'm tainted
With all my sins, real or not, these people are  acquaited

I found out that I cant escape my past
Even if I scrub my skin raw, these stains will always last
Because to them, I cannot change who I am
I guess theyre right. Look at me, I'm just a sham

Faking being alright. Faking everything in life
If I could, I would run myself through with a knife
But look at that self pity I am indulging in
These thoughts are just yet another sin

You know, if I had God in my heart I would be okay
None of this pain would hurt. Everything, He would allay
But look, this is proof of who I am
I'm a sinner who isnt worth a damn.

Oh go ahead, try reassure me thats not true
I know that everything you say is a pile of poo
I've tried to stop caring. And as much as I havent succeeded
One day I will be gone. I'll have fully receded
And by then it'll be too late, no matter what
Your actions will no longer cut
That day l will no longer care. I will be gone
On this fucked up chess board I will no longer be a pawn