R

 I thought I knew the right way
I tried walking when I was meant to stay
I fought when I was meant to be still
Then I wondered why it was all uphill

Confusion assailed me at every turn
Why was it that I could never learn?!
How do you let go of something so dear?
Giving up feels too much to bear

Sometimes you've just got to embrace the emptiness
Sometimes you've got to get by with less
Its those moments where you've nothing to live for
Thats when you discover your true core

Right now I'm angry, hurt, disgusted and betrayed
I'm trying to work through it all but I'm afraid.
How do you really face the demons you fight?
When this rage is simmering, waiting to ignite

I'm trying to fight, but I'm underwater, barely breathing
My heart is aching, but its also seething
How do you deal with such intentional loss?!
This gulf of grief, how do I get across?

How could you just walk away like that?
Leaving both me and our son feeling flat
How could you turn your love off like a switch?
It was like black magic, how else could you just ditch?

( Written around April)